Love x Hate

When the pain is reciprocated back on me, I feel what she has gone through all those times I've mistreated her. & I only got a glimpse of it. These last few weeks have been the toughest, most painful weeks of my life. & the twist is, I brought this upon myself. I've admitted my faults. & I've never been more mature about this relationship I lost with her. I'm just always reminded of her with everything that I do or see. She's moved on to the next dude already. Its like, I used to lay in that bed. ME. I spent all this time with her. I loved her. & for her to just take me off the main priorities of her life just hurts me. I just wish I was given that chance. Instead of her trying to seek happiness elsewhere, why can't she just seek it with me. & when I see some shit where she's talking about HIM, & not ME. That gets my blood boiling. My whole body feels hot & my mind just goes blank. Then I'm angry & I don't know what to do about it. & she doesn't even sweat it. I feel most of my successes are based on my high hopes along with my ambition and determination. So I'm hoping...that I'll get that call. "Let's work this out, let's stick together." I know I have friends & shit. But I don't want to tire everyone with the same shit I have on my mind everytime we go out. & there's this girl who said she's my best friend but she's just completely forgotten about me & it sucks. Which is why I decided to publish this blog. & I don't want another woman to fill that void in my heart. If I can't have my woman. I'd just rather learn to be alone & on my own. They say time heals all wounds, they don't say how much time. I just want her to come back.